The Logic of His Tears
by Petchricor
Summary: Grif gets to thinking about Sarge and the others stuck with Locus, and their current situation


**This is just friendship but can be seen as slash if you want, mostly just trying to give Grif a deeper character without completely destroying him. Enjoy!  
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Grif lay on his bunk with his eyes wide open in the middle of the night, listening to the calm breathing of the other members of his 'team' around the room. After what happened back in the canyon they had all agreed to share a room and the captain hadn't protested, completely understanding that after what happened to their leaders they needed to stick together. Whether this was for personal comfort or because they felt safe with their teammates, Grif could never figure out. But no matter what the reason was, here they all were. Grif and Simmons sharing on bunk bed while Caboose and Tucker shared the other across the room. It seemed that even outside the canyon the colors red and blue still defined them. Blues on one side of the room and Reds on the other.

Grif yawned and sighed. He hadn't slept since they had gotten here and that was a whole four days ago. No one slept on the first day of course, they all stayed up and talked about random stuff that had them all laughing, but after that everyone started to sleep easy. Everyone but Grif that is. He'd never admit it but he was worried about Sarge and Donut, Wash to of course. He was a good guy, he didn't deserve this. But Grif didn't know what he'd do if he never saw Sarge again.

That very thought had Grif welling up with tears. He gritted his teeth and got up, pulling on his combat boots and heading outside without noticing as Simmons sat up on his bunk to see him leave. Grif turned for the ladder and knelt down, grabbing the top bar before heading down towards the canyon floor.

His feet hit the dirt with a dull thud and a bit of dust puffed up from the ground, not that Grif cared of course, these boots had seen worse days. He turned and kept walking, hands in his pockets and moving just a bit faster than a normal walking pace. Behind him the maroon soldier climbed quickly down the ladder after him, but by the time he reached the ground he couldn't see Grif and cursed quietly as he tried to find him.

Grif knew all to well that by the time he got down the ladder Simmons would be coming after him to scold about how he should be sleeping, they had a big day of training the recruits tomorrow and blah blah blah. So, he made quick to hide in one of the caves so Simmons wouldn't see him as he fell to the ground and let the tears fall.

He just couldn't bare the thought that he might never see Sarge again, never get to banter back and forth about stupid things like work and how lazy he was. And what if he never saw Donut either? Or Wash? Or what if Simmons and the others died because Locus attacked or something? Grif didn't know what he'd do if any of those things happened.

"Grif?" Simmons said in shock, startling the crying soldier. Grif sat up and scrambled back until his back hit the cave wall, gritting his teeth tight enough to crack one of them. "Grif, what's wrong?" Simmons walked over and knelt down across from him. Grif stared at Simmons and like a rock it hit him, the logic of his tears.

"We're in a war, Simmons," Grif said in a whisper. "A real war. Not just us and the Blues, those were Simulations not battles. This is an actual war, against an actual army and we can die. All of us can. I just-I just can't bare the thought of losing any of you. What if we never see Sarge again?" And just like that he was crying again, hands covering his face. Simmons frowned and hugged the man across from him, not minding as Grif clung to him and cried against his shoulder.

"Hey, it always ends up ok, remember? We've been through tons of shit, but we always get out alive. It's like Caboose said, we're not that unlucky," Simmons assured him. "And besides, you know I can't go anywhere, I need to keep your lazyass in line until Sarge gets back. And he will get back, because he needs to scold you for not yelling at soldiers properly." Grif found it in him to laugh at that.

"I yell at them just fine," Grif pouted, getting Simmons to laugh in good humor. The two smiled at each other and Grif wiped his eyes. "Thanks, Sims." Simmons nodded and put a hand on his shoulder. Grif looked at him to see a warm smile and smiled back at him.

"Come on, we should head back," Simmons told him as he stood, Grif following his lead. With a nod the two left the cave and headed back to their room to catch some shuteye.

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**And that's a wrap!  
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**Thanks for reading, please review, and have a bow chicka bow wow day**

**Petchricor, QotG, signing off ;)**


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